


Feels the Least Wrong

by GStK



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 18:38:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8220929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GStK/pseuds/GStK
Summary: You keep your ocean. I'll take the lake.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Scene-based. He/him pronouns for Arashi.  
> Mentions of Izumi/Makoto and Arashi/Kunugi (both unrequited).
> 
> Because Arashi can be ugly, too.

It starts like every high school love story he can think of: two members of the same club, coincidentally alone, coincidentally with nothing better to do than waste their youth.

And then, just like every high school story he can think of, there comes the rub. Because it’s him and Ou-sama, alone in Knights’ studio, but there’s nothing romantic about it. Ou-sama’s laying on the floor, scribbling away at torn-out sheets of notebook paper; Arashi’s fixing his make-up. Ou-sama’s missing a shoe but Arashi is missing his concealer, so he figures they must be even.

‘Huh? Where’s Sena?’ Ou-sama asks, ten minutes later, palms smeared with ink. He looks up at Arashi and blinks wildly – blinded by his beauty, is Arashi’s errant thought, but it’s probably just the shine of his hand-mirror bouncing the studio lights.

‘Well –‘ Arashi’s not really prepared to answer; it’s better that he’s not,

Because then comes the ‘WAIT! Let me guess,’ just like clockwork, because Ou-sama is a predictable storm.

Ou-sama brews and toils while the seconds tick by, and eventually he presses his hands to his face, rubbing his cheeks black in frustration. ‘I can’t figure it out!’ he snaps, then squeezes his eyes shut, giving a noise not unlike a cat that’s dying. ‘Urgh! What about Suou! Or Rittsu! How did I even get here!? Agh – the melody – the notes – they’re slipping away…!’

‘I think,’ Arashi says delicately, ‘Ritsu-chan is asleep somewhere. Tsukasa-chan… had to go home early because of his family… and, hm. Izumi-chan?’ What _did_ happen to Izumi-chan? Ou-sama despairs while Arashi tries to remember, sliding from his seat, digging in his pocket for his handkerchief. ‘As far as Izumi-chan goes… well…’

‘— huh? What’s this?’

Arashi zones back in to Ou-sama staring at his outstretched hand, inspecting his handkerchief like it’s an alien substance. (And knowing Ou-sama – he probably thinks it is.) Arashi sighs instead of clicking his tongue and takes a knee, rubbing at the other boy’s cheeks.

‘Wah! Naru, what is this! A new kind of torture!? Wait, it can’t be – a new inspiration technique?!’

‘Mm, sure,’ Arashi appeases, frowning. Ou-sama’s arms flail wildly and nearly smack him. He frowns, too, when his handkerchief returns blackened, but at least Ou-sama looks clean. (And at least, he tells himself, he can make Adonis-chan give him his. _Oh no_! ♥) ‘Okay! All better.’

Ou-sama pats his face as soon as Arashi lets him go, which kind of defeats the point. But he doesn’t really look like he knows what to make of this, which is a regular look for him: lost, bewildered, unsure of why he’s even here.

His voice, when he speaks, is quiet. The smile he cracks, though – it’s bright. ‘Naru’s really sweet,’ he says. No. _Who's_ sweet?

Arashi smiles too. And he giggles, a little proudly, as he climbs to his feet. ‘Obviously! Anyone with a pure maiden heart would be.’

‘And weird, too,’ Ou-sama continues. He grins this time, and makes Arashi gasp when he hugs his pant leg. ‘But that inspired me! It’s a miracle – I’m a genius! Thanks, Naru. I love you!’

‘Mm, sure,’ Arashi repeats; he goes back to checking himself in the mirror. Perfect as always. ‘We all love you too, Ou-sama.’

But the king of Knights doesn’t hear him. The king of Knights dives back into his notes, writing up a storm. Arashi returns to his seat, unfettered, and blows a kiss that only he can see.

That’s how it starts.

* * *

It continues, just like every high school story he knows of, with wacky tropes and humour for brevity.

Or what he supposes should be humour. Maybe? Tsukasa-chan looks absolutely horrified, and Izumi-chan looks ready to kill with his glare. (Ritsu-chan is asleep. Arashi considers joining him, but wrecking your sleep schedule is bad for your skin. Terrible!) None of them look very amused by this all, so Arashi lightens the situation by laughing behind his hand.

Izumi-chan’s glare rotates to him. It’s icy, arctic winds threatening to cut through him, but it’s no match for the sun. Arashi smirks to accommodate; Izumi-chan makes a disgusted noise in his throat. ‘Isn’t it fine? Tsukasa-chan, you’re the one who left him in charge of the theme.’

‘B-because he was showing initiative!’ Tsukasa-chan squawks, going pale and then red, bringing a hand to his chest to defend himself. ‘ _Leader_ is never interested in our _unit’s_ activities. But when I told him we would be holding another _Live_ , he said he had an _idea_ and that I should… er…’ Tsukasa-chan coughs awkwardly into his hand. Poor boy. ‘Leave it to him. I now realise my mistake…’

‘It’s not that serious,’ Izumi-chan scoffs, though his tone clearly says it is. Tsukasa-chan still has enough respect for his _senpai_ to baulk. That’s good. ‘You’re not the only person who fucked up. Naru-kun, the costumes –‘

And now they’re going to pin it on _him_? Uh-uh. No way. ‘He told me it was Tsukasa-chan’s idea!’ Arashi huffs and crosses his arms, turning away. ‘And it’s not a terrible idea, honestly! Geez!’

‘I’m an evil witch,’ Ritsu-chan points out with a yawn. Tsukasa-chan seems startled to see him join the land of the living.

‘Nazu-nyan’s a _mouse_ ,’ Izumi-chan stresses. As if that’s any worse than fairies. _Honestly_. ‘And I’m an owl. Say, Naru-kun – it looks like you’re kind of biased?’

‘You’re so rude!’ But none of them look happy at all. The show is in two weeks and everything is a mess, but him, biased – just because – ‘Just because I’m the princess! Tsukasa-chan is the prince, you know!’

Which is definitely why Tsukasa-chan shifts quietly, coughing, again. (Before he can speak, Izumi-chan sighs and offers him a cough drop. Tsukasa-chan declines.) ‘Actually… Narukami-senpai... regardless of the subject matter, I didn’t feel it would be appropriate to take the lead role. I am, after all, still new to Knights –‘

‘So what you’re saying is,’ Izumi-chan interrupts. He sounds… way less annoyed than you’d expect. ‘Our stupid lord is going to be the lead. For once. Well, if he comes to practice I won’t complain –‘

‘I hope he doesn’t,’ Ritsu-chan chimes. He’s already laying back down. (Arashi swats at him; that’s when Ritsu-chan holds his hands up, and mutters something about Arashi being _merciless_.) ‘I want to sleep more…’

So Arashi lets up, just a little. ‘You haven’t gotten used to winter yet, huh?’ he asks, and Ritsu-chan gives a sleepy nod, nuzzling the arm he’s now captured. ‘Mm… the longer nights will help everyone, I think. Ritsu-chan – get it together, okay?’

And let him go, maybe. Tsukasa-chan makes a comment about needing to get permission from his parents to stay at school longer. Arashi wiggles his arm, and after a discontented noise, Ritsu-chan releases him.

‘You must be happy, Nacchan,’ he says.

‘Because I’m Sleeping Beauty?’ Arashi grins. ‘ _Yada_ – don’t remind me! I’m excited! ♥’

‘Good for you, shitty _okama_ ,’ Izumi-chan grumbles.

‘Well,’ Ritsu-chan mumbles, ‘There’s also that, I guess…’

And that’s the part that should be different, that doesn’t conform to the idea of a high school love story: Ritsu-chan is the cunning friend, sure. But Arashi, see, he’s not supposed to know.

(If he were a pure, innocent maiden, he wouldn’t – but he’s a boy.

So he knows.

Ou-sama is calling him a beauty, beautiful, and he’s not being very subtle about it.)

* * *

But this is one of those tired tropes that he likes.

‘For me?’ Arashi asks, a moment late in doing so, because his arms are already full of flowers.

‘Well, yeah,’ Ou-sama answers, sitting up from the grass. He must’ve gotten the bouquet today, maybe on his way to school, even – they’ve been spritzed with water and wrapped up in a plastic shield, crinkling whenever Arashi breathes.

‘Aw,’ Arashi coos, sweetly. Ou-sama looks all sorts of smug to see him swooning. ‘Ou-sama! Oh my! You really shouldn’t have.’

‘Wahaha! I know! I’m the best, aren’t I?’ Ou-sama replies. It’s like he doesn’t even see it coming.

He doesn’t. How sad.

He jumps when Arashi forces the bouquet back in his hands, and he’s lost for words when Arashi crosses his arms. It’s so unattractive. ‘No, really. You shouldn’t have. A fan gave you that before you got to school, didn’t she?’

‘Well –‘

‘ _Ou-sama_!’ Arashi chides. ‘I bet she really loves you! That’s awful!’ And it’s because Ou-sama, you see, Ou-sama – he’s a good leader, once in a while, until he remembers every group is made up of people. _My Knights_ , he’ll say, _my fans_. _Everyone_. He does better thinking of people as concepts, and when he remembers they’re not –

 _My Sena_! (Like Izumi-chan’s efforts belong to him. Never his emotion, just his image.) _Newbie_!, he says, even now, even when Tsukasa-chan grits his teeth.

‘I don’t want it.’ Ou-sama’s pulled in on himself, a little, like he doesn’t understand. (‘cause in his mind, his Naru should be happy, right? His Naru.)

Naru – no, Arashi, sighs. ‘I’m not your personal trash collector, Ou-sama. That’s Tsukasa-chan.’ He touches a hand to his cheek and fusses. ‘I feel so bad for her. I bet she saved up her allowance just to buy you flowers. Oh, this is horrible… you really need to consider a girl’s feelings.’

Ou-sama looks terribly bored with this line of conversation, and if anything, annoyed. It’s important, though. You know? ‘I dunno how girls feel!’ he explodes. ( _For sure_ , Arashi adds under his breath.) ‘But Naru’s pretty. So _I_ felt he should have them! Ahhhhh, the music…’

‘What music?’ Arashi mutters, but Ou-sama’s words mollify him. The look on his face grows considering, and eventually, he reaches for the bouquet again. Ou-sama pauses to watch him, sees him stick a lily into the pocket of his blazer.

‘I’m not doing this for you. It’s for her. Love should never go to waste.’

But then Arashi stops. ‘— _ara_. I sound just like Izumi-chan, don’t I?’

Ou-sama cracks a grin. ‘A little.’

And Arashi loves this trope because it doesn’t go the way it should, not at all, but gives him a glimpse of the real Ou-sama on a tired Wednesday morning.

* * *

In any good romance story, though (and they _all_ start out in high school, that’s just a rule), there comes a time where the heroine learns about her love interest’s deep, dark secrets.

Sometimes it comes through waiting. Sometimes it comes from poking and prodding at the right people – _stop_ , Ritsu-chan says sleepily, turning over in his bed at the studio – and sometimes it is born of her own design, the heroine’s wits serving her at the perfect time.

But it doesn’t come. There’s moments, here and there (a look on Izumi-chan’s face, a pause where Ritsu-chan normally wouldn’t hesitate), but that’s it. That's all. Ou-sama’s past is under lock and key. Ou-sama’s past belongs to the survivors, and a little bit to Ou-sama himself, who’s not even half the person he was when he left. That’s what Izumi-chan says.

Arashi waits a little while. He ponders those stories where the words come from the boy himself, but it’s rarer than you’d think. It doesn’t happen in real life, not ever, because it’s just too cliché.

(Neither does that other thing he wants with the rest of his heart. Imitating someone doesn’t make them like you. Acting like their type just creeps them out. The more you try, the harder it gets, and effort is never rewarded in love. Just dumb luck. Just waiting.

Teachers never fall in love with their students, not in an all-boys school.)

Except maybe – leaders, right –

 _Senpai_ , when they call a girl beautiful, it means something. It has to. Doesn’t it?

Because he can’t wait this out, not again, not when the waiting never ends.

* * *

So this is a total romance cliché, one he remembers seeing in a Western movie, once –

‘I thought you liked that teacher!’

‘I thought you liked Makoto-chan!’

– because it’s shocking, it’s full of drama, and it keeps the audience on the edge of their seat.

‘I _do_ ,’ Izumi-chan hisses, voice thick with offence that could only be taken by someone truly in love.

‘So do I!’ Arashi yells back, because he’s the very same. ‘Not Makoto-chan, I – I love Kunugi-sensei, you know!’

It’s that high school love story cliché, the one where two girls fight over the boy they love.

Except he’s not in love, and it’s much more painful than you’d think.

 _Because_. He doesn’t want to fight Izumi-chan, and it’s more than obvious Izumi-chan doesn’t want to fight him. He wasn’t even the one to start it; it’d been Arashi, feeling the space of the locker room shrink with only the two of them here, chest tightening until it was too much.

And it’s the worst. He hates this.

‘Then what the hell?’ Izumi-chan asks, running an agitated hand through his hair. His belt’s still wound up in his other hand, ready to be put away with the rest of his costume. ‘Why are you even going after Ou-sama? He’s stupid, and never pays attention, and does what he wants, and—‘

‘Why are you?’ Arashi whispers back, fingers clenched around his phone. He’s not about to cry; he’s not going to cry; he thinks about Ritsu-chan’s casual indulgence of his curiosity, how he said that Ou-sama and Izumi-chan used to be a thing –

– might still be a thing –

And honestly, really, geez! He just gets mad. All over again.

But Izumi-chan won’t admit it. ‘I’m not,’ he answers plainly. He makes a noise that’s more tired than grossed out, and he sets his belt down. He looks a lot less intimidating in his street clothes, but to Arashi, it doesn’t make a difference. ‘I’m not going after him because there’s nothing to _go_ after. You know, don’t you? He flirts with everyone. It doesn’t mean a thing.’

But it does. Arashi holds onto that memory of Ou-sama calling him beautiful, well-worn for all the times he’s clutched it to his chest. It’s different. He’s beautiful. ‘That’s not true,’ he mutters, and Izumi-chan shifts his weight, annoyed.

‘So you love him?’

Does he?

‘Fuck, Naru-kun.’

Izumi-chan approaches him. Arashi balls his hands up, but he’s surprised to find they’re not shaking. Izumi-chan tries to grab his attention, but he can’t. He speaks anyway.

‘The Ou-sama I knew isn’t here any more. Doesn’t matter much since you didn’t know him – but there’s nothing to love. If you –‘ He pauses, and Arashi sees his hand flex. ‘If you can love what’s left of him,’ he says brusquely, ‘Whatever. Have fun.’

Arashi looks at him.

Izumi-chan watches him impassively.

‘… so,’ Arashi says, ‘You’re not going to try?’

And that’s when Izumi-chan scoffs, and Arashi’s world narrows down to a fine point.

‘I didn’t say that,’ Izumi-chan answers –

– and then he’s cursing, angrily, recoiling from where Arashi hit him. The both of them reel back for different reasons. (That’s going to bruise, Arashi thinks, watching the way Izumi-chan covers his face.)

‘ _Naru-kun_ ,’ he growls, ‘What the FUCK.’

‘S-so do me too!’ Arashi gasps, and he turns his head to the side.

‘HUH!?’

This is the worst.

‘Hit me too!’ he demands, and yes, he’s crying, and yes, Izumi-chan’s looking at him like he’s insane.

‘Why the fuck would I?!’ Izumi-chan snaps.

But he has to. Arashi wipes at his eyes, and his words come out in a hiccup. ‘If you don’t – if you don’t! I’ll feel bad! So just – Izumi-chan –‘

 _Now_ he sounds disgusted. Izumi-chan takes a step back, which Arashi hears more than sees, because his world is a blurry mess. He thinks he hears something like, _stupid okama_ , and then there’s stars in his eyes.

Izumi-chan leaves a bruise he can’t cover up. Arashi skips school for a day.

When he comes back, Izumi-chan doesn’t say a word about it. He just looks away and says, softly, ‘If you’re gonna disappear too, you really are perfect for him.’

So Arashi cries again, and he makes Izumi-chan hold him through the worst of it. He wonders where all his composure went.

It’s not even a good cliché because the story doesn’t follow through – Ou-sama doesn’t notice, Ou-sama doesn’t pick one of them.

They are, as always, left pining.

* * *

There should be a part where there’s a gushy make-up scene. He and Izumi-chan promise to always be friends, no matter how Ou-sama loves.

Maybe, if they’re feeling really progressive, they decide they don’t need Ou-sama at all. He’s just one boy. Genius he may be, but he can’t move mountains, and he can’t un-break hearts. He couldn’t even fit himself back together again, glued the pieces into a picture that doesn’t make sense.

They don’t need him. Izumi-chan doesn’t need him. Arashi doesn’t need him.

‘But we _Knights_ do,’ Tsukasa-chan intones. He stares into the depths of his tea, and this is one of those moments, Arashi realises, where even Suou Tsukasa knows the truth. ‘This unit belongs to him. Without him, it’s as Sena-senpai said. We’re incomplete.’ His cup rattles a little too hard when it meets its saucer.

 _Saucer_. Arashi hums and thinks of outer space. ‘So? What about when he graduates?’ Tsukasa-chan grimaces. ‘It’s only a couple months away. Izumi-chan’ll be gone, too, but do you think we’ll just…’ He makes a flimsy motion with his hand. ‘Poof? Disappear? Hehe – Tsukasa-chan, you’re so cute.’

‘I am no such thing!’ Tsukasa-chan protests, to no avail, ‘cause it’s true. But even he does not have a solution; his reply is begrudging. ‘I… suppose we will continue on with the three of us. Our new leader will be –‘

 _You_? With his smile, Arashi dares him to say it.

No fun, though. Tsukasa-chan’s not even trying to be devious. ‘— Ritsu-senpai? He is the eldest… it’s only natural.’

‘You’re so _cute_ ,’ he repeats, and Tsukasa-chan gasps when he pulls at his cheek. (‘ _Narukami-senpai_! _Please_!’) ‘No,’ Arashi says, crossing his legs and settling back, ‘It’ll be me. Ritsu-chan would want it that way anyway. “ _Nacchan_ , _take over for me_? _I’m tired_. _There’s too much work_.”’

If Tsukasa-chan finds his impression noteworthy, he doesn’t say anything. ‘I wonder what _Leader_ would want.’

‘Who knows?’ Arashi sighs. ‘It’s our unit too. It won’t be the same once he’s gone. But we’re still us, right?’

‘Yes,’ Tsukasa-chan agrees earnestly, but his mind is clearly elsewhere. He rubs the rim of his teacup absently, looking far across the school grounds in search of something. ‘We are _Knights_.’

So they are, so they will be until the end of time, which coincides with graduating. In a couple months, Ou-sama won’t be Ou-sama. Izumi-chan will probably go back to modelling. Ou-sama – Leo will –

Leave again, probably. And Arashi was barely there the first time.

‘ _Yada_ ,’ he mutters. ‘Maybe I’ll quit.’

Tsukasa-chan makes a noise of assent, catches up with the conversation, and then squawks. Arashi waves him off without really thinking, because now he’s elsewhere, too: standing back, looking at the pages of his high school love story.

This is the part where he’s supposed to take a chance. Love is about taking chances. Regret is love that never took risks.

‘Just kidding,’ he says, shuts his eyes.

Love is love, _don’t waste your youth_. Ou-sama said something like that.

But love is love and love is just tiring, sometimes.

He could never give up, even if he wanted to.

* * *

And love, yeah? Love. Okay, it’s – love is ugly. Love is the most beautiful thing in the world.

Except love is really really ugly. It’s kind of horrifying.

‘Naru,’ Ou-sama says, not sounding nearly as surprised as he should.

He shuts the door behind him but stands in the entryway, letting snow gather and flake in his hair. He’s only wearing the one jacket – and just seeing that makes Arashi exhale a breath of relief. That’s their Ou-sama.

This is Leo, not looking the least bit scared that Arashi is outside his house.

‘Sena?’ he guesses, and he’s right – he’s right, too, in knowing that this is serious. Arashi cups his hands close to his face, and leaves the guard rail he’s been occupying.

‘It took _forever_.’ The exasperation in his voice is amplified by the way he shivers. The anger, too. ‘I called you,’ he complains, ‘But you didn’t pick up.’

‘Sorry!’ Ou-sama laughs. ‘I lost my phone yesterday. It was probably abducted by aliens—‘

‘Stop that.’

So he does. He doesn’t say anything, not when Arashi approaches him, not when Arashi backs him into the door.

He looks totally cool and composed, expectant for what’s coming next, and it sucks. Arashi can’t keep his heart from hammering.

‘— this isn’t how it’s supposed to work, you know?’ he whispers, placing a hand somewhere above Ou-sama’s head. Their king is so tiny, and yet. He’s not as small as Tsukasa-chan, somehow.

‘How’s it supposed to work?’ Ou-sama asks. He’s amused. What a jerk.

‘You’re supposed to say it to _me_. I’m the girl.’

But he says, ‘Would you believe me?’

And Arashi deflates. ‘—no.’

‘Right?’ he smirks. ‘Sena didn’t either. Not even way back…’

… _when_ , but he’s silenced by the touch of Arashi’s fingers on his chin, guiding his eyes up –

Until he hisses, painfully. ‘Naru! Stop! It’s cold! Coldcold _cold_ —‘

‘Okay!’ Arashi gasps, frustrated, and he pulls away. ‘Okay. I know. My mittens are in my bag –‘

‘Gimme!’ Ou-sama demands. He does not relent until Arashi has rolled his eyes and surrendered the gloves. When they’re on his hands and covering his face, Ou-sama gives a happy sigh. ‘Naru’s so dumb!’

Arashi snaps back immediately. ‘ _You’re_ dumb!’ He gives a despairing sigh, one that makes it sound like his life is over. It sure feels like it is. ‘It wasn’t supposed to go like this. Not at all. Everything’s _ruined_!’

‘What is?’ Ou-sama plays stupid, but he gives in when Arashi groans. ‘Well, it’s not. I mean – you could still say it.’ He doesn’t look much different when Arashi looks up: not bashful, not even pitying. ‘If you want.’

‘… I could kiss you,’ Arashi debates, pressing a little closer. The streetlights turn on suddenly, and it’s like he’s shielding Ou-sama from invasive stares. His knight.

(Except he’s the girl, here. If this wasn’t so ugly, he would be.)

‘Huh. Have you ever kissed anybody?’ Leo asks, and Arashi goes a little red, so he – ‘Ummmmm. Maybe don’t, then? You probably suck.’

– and just for that, Arashi kisses him anyway. Ou-sama goes still when he does, but doesn’t look pleased when he pulls away, certainly not like he’s going to be swept off his feet.

‘Oh my _god_ ,’ Arashi moans. ‘I suck at kissing.’

‘Yeah,’ Ou-sama agrees.

‘I messed up,’ he whines, ‘I’m such an idiot. I’m not pretty, nobody will ever love me, my life is over—‘

‘Naru.’

So this time, Leo kisses him. He has to stand on his tiptoes, wrapping his arms around Arashi’s shoulders for balance. It’s slow and sweet and everything a kiss should be, every stupid cliché from the magazines.

Arashi holds him close, even when they part. He breathes heavily – his lip gloss is smeared all over Ou-sama’s mouth – his voice hitches on a sob and it’s embarrassing.

‘Say it,’ he demands sharply. ‘You can’t just kiss me and not say it.’

So Ou-sama does. ‘I love you, Naru.’ He smiles and it’s the worst. He’s such a jerk. Oh my _god_. ‘My Naru.’

‘I don’t believe you,’ he huffs. He sees the light in Leo’s eyes dim. ‘—say it again,’ he adds, a call to romance. Honesty.

‘I love you… I really do. My Naru— My Queen! Wahaha!’

And it gets a little better each time he says it. ‘I like you,’ Arashi agrees. Not exclusively, because there’s a Sensei-shaped hole blown into the side of his chest. ‘I love you, Ou-sama,’ he says. And it’s true. It’s true.

‘You’re not allowed to quit,’ Ou-sama tells him, and he nods his assent. (Tsukasa-chan told him. Who didn't see that coming?) ‘You can’t fight with Sena, either. Your king said so.’

‘ _My_. Since when are you our king?’ he replies – he’s teasing, but then there’s that look on Ou-sama’s face, that one with the painful-distant-accepting smile. Oh.

Arashi presses their lips together again. It’s sloppy, but it pulls Ou-sama out of thoughts he can’t reach, experiences he never knew and conflict he will never be able to resolve. It grounds him in the present moment, just for this one second, but it’s long enough for Arashi to say:

‘I love Leo-chan, too.’

… and it doesn’t fix anything. Leo gives him a sardonic smile that smacks of disbelief, not from lack of want but from inability. Arashi grips his shoulders and nuzzles the side of his head anyway. He says it again against Ou-sama’s ear.

Ou-sama squirms in his hold. ‘Don’t _do_ that.’

‘Make me. ♥’ Arashi blows on his ear – Ou-sama squirms some more – and then Ou-sama cracks his elbow loudly against the door, rattling his bones and making it shudder. He sinks to the ground and cradles his arm, making all sorts of noises you’d expect from a weird little kid.

‘Naru’s a jerk,’ he gripes. He whines some more until Arashi gives him space to stretch out his legs, but he doesn’t complain when Arashi stoops beside him. ‘What?’ he asks, when the silence is stretching on, when Arashi won’t stop looking at him.

So Arashi holds his breath and says, ‘I love you, Leo,’ one more time.

Leo looks at him and replies, ‘Naru’s beautiful.’

It makes his heart leap in his chest. It makes Arashi twine his fingers through the ponytail at Leo’s neck – and then Leo reaches forward to swipe his bangs from his eyes, ruining hours of work, smearing makeup on his mitten.

It’s cliché, but – it’s ugly, but – Arashi lets him.

Love is the worst thing.

**Author's Note:**

> Title and summary adapted from works by Colleen Hoover.


End file.
